Little Old Lady Joke

A tour bus driver has a bus full of senior citizens.
As he’s driving, the bus driver gets tapped on the shoulder by a little old lady.
She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully eats.

After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts. She repeats this gesture about five more times.

When she is about to hand him another batch of peanuts, the bus driver asks the little old lady why she doesn't eat them..

"We can't chew them because we've got no teeth", she says.

So, the puzzled driver asks, “Why do you buy them then?"

The little old lady replies, "We just love the chocolate around them!!"

Straits Times Forum: Housing subsidies only for citizens and PRs

March 26, 2008
Housing subsidies only for citizens and PRs

I REFER to the letter, 'Include non-citizens in fiance scheme' by Mr Ang Kin Leong (March 12).

Singapore's public housing is intended to meet the housing needs of citizen households. Under the Fiance-Fiancee Scheme, citizen couples can apply to purchase a new HDB flat prior to their marriage. They will only have to produce their marriage certificate within three months after taking possession of their flat.

We recognise that some citizens may wish to marry and form a family unit with non-citizens. For such households, they are treated as citizen households if the fiancee is a Singapore Permanent Resident (SPR), and they can purchase a subsidised new flat under the Fiance-Fiancee Scheme as well.

However, HDB is unable to extend the Fiance-Fiancee Scheme to citizens if their fiance or fiancee do not have at least SPR status. This is to ensure that our limited housing subsidies are judiciously disbursed to households that have demonstrated their commitment to settle down in Singapore.

We wish to highlight that citizens who marry foreigners can purchase a resale HDB flat under the Non-Citizen Spouse Scheme.

If the citizen spouse is a first-timer, he can apply to enjoy the Singles Grant. Such households can apply for a top-up grant to receive the full CPF Housing Grant when the foreigner spouse obtains SPR status.

We thank Mr Ang for his feedback.

Leong Chok Keh
Deputy Director (Policy & Property)
for Director (Estate Administration & Property)
Housing & Development Board

A Short Irish Joke

An Irishman was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet.

"I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds."

When the Irishman returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 60 POUNDS!

"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?"

The Irishman nodded..."I'll tell you though, by jaesuz, I t'aut I were going to drop dead dat 3rd day."

"From hunger, you mean?"

"No, from de bloody skippin'!!!!!"

(Catch it ? The irish man actually did rope skipping!)

Business Times: HDB imposes checklists on resale flats

March 25, 2008
HDB imposes checklists on resale flats.
By UMA SHANKARI

THE Housing and Development Board will introduce mandatory checklists for housing agents handling resale flat transactions from May 1 - a move welcomed by industry players.

The checklists cover key policies and procedures that housing agents will need to advise resale flat buyers and sellers on before they commit to a transaction, HDB said yesterday.'This is part of HDB's ongoing efforts to ensure that buyers and sellers are aware of the relevant HDB purchase and financing policies when buying/selling an HDB flat,' it said.

The move comes after a new scam involving HDB flats surfaced recently. Under the scam, a seller and buyer together report a falsely low sale price to HDB.The buyer then pays the difference between the actual and declared price to the seller in cash, which means the seller has more cash in hand - rather than having any leftover money go back into his CPF account. To sweeten the deal, the seller usually gives the buyer a discount on the market value of the flat.

Under HDB's new initiative, housing agents will have to submit a completed resale checklist to HDB with a resale application. Resale applications that do not comply with this requirement will be rejected and there will be 'serious penalties' for false declarations.Housing agents engaged by both sellers and buyers will have to go through a resale checklist with clients before an option to purchase (OTP) is granted or exercised.

Buyers and sellers who do not engage the services of housing agents need not submit a checklist.

PropNex, which says it has more than 40 per cent of the public housing resale market, welcomed HDB's move.Public housing has many policies and financing requirements that many may not be familiar with, said PropNex chief executive Mohamed Ismail.Most buyers tend not to read the important notes attached to OTP, he said.

The new resale checklist for housing agents engaged by buyers, for example, will ensure that buyers are aware of their rights as well as of financing matters. It will also highlight to them the fact that any form of cashback arrangement, such as over or under declaration, is punishable by law.

Similarly, the checklist for sellers' housing agents will ensure prospective sellers understand the various eligibility rules.

Mr Ismail said that while many agents already educate potential buyers and sellers, some may not, leaving them in the dark.'This initiative should lead to greater transparency for buyers and sellers, and ensure a consistently high level of professionalism amongst the agents,' he said.

CNA: Mass market and mid-tier private apartments expected to do well.

21 March 2008
Mass market and mid-tier private apartments expected to do well this year
By Wong Siew Ying, Channel NewsAsia SINGAPORE:

Prices of mass market and mid-tier condominiums are expected to remain strong this year. But those of high-end residential properties could taper off by up to 10 per cent. And if you're looking to buy, the market is in your favour, according to Propnex's CEO, Mohamed Ismail Abdul Gafoore, in a speech to alumni members at the National University of Singapore.

Despite the weaker market sentiments, industry players expect mass market condominiums to do relatively well this year and prices are set to climb but at a more sluggish pace. And more supply will come into the market as 31,000 new private apartments are completed over the next five years.

Propnex said it's now a buyers market and home hunters could get good deals. Mr Mohammad Ismail said: "When we compare the prices of places like Parc Oasis or Woodsgrove condo, the prices today hold and in some instances are even higher per square foot. "Look at today, the public housing pricing, and the DBSS pricing per square foot. They are already going at almost S$600 if one would want to buy at a mass market price that is less than S$800 with full facilities."

According to agents, the landed housing space could see modest growth but prices should hold steady. The outlook is less positive for luxury apartments, which only six months ago were transacted upwards of S$2000 per square foot.

Property agents expect the dust kicked up by the US sub-prime crisis and the rising oil prices to settle by 2009. They are also confident that the future is still bright for the property market as Singapore has the right fundamentals in place.

Meanwhile, demand for public housing is expected to remain robust this year, providing to prices. So some agents believe it's a good time for HDB flat owners to trade up to a mass market private property.